I’ll have to save the whole discussion later. About ‘reading’, quests, old school RPGs, characters and more. This is just one of the nodes.

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Charles:
So what makes something a roleplaying game then?

Imho:
The more RPG, the less “game”.

The transition from a different type of game (strategy, fps, adventure) to a RPG happens when you lose some focus on one game-y mechanic and add more possible interactions. With your character (personalization, dress-up, skills, levels), with the environment (moving objects, manipulate them and so on, till “bake bread”), with the NPCs (dialogues, daily schedules, scripting, questing, etc..).

You can take some “borderline” RPGs (Elite, System Shock) and see exactly what are the elements they incorporate that make them feel closer to a RPG.

You can add characters and dialogues to a FPS to make it feel already closer to a RPG. Add the possibility to manipulate diverse objects, solve puzzles and a fair degree of freedom (of interaction) and you have a very good RPG.

The more the game focuses on just one pattern of interaction, the less it feels like a RPG.

It’s all about the interaction. It’s scope, diversity and impact. Which is also what “freedom” is. The possibility to choose the way you react and manipulate the game.

The “sandboxes”, or “virtual worlds” often become synonyms of RPG.

Silly example to explain my point: In a FPS you can see a chair, but only in a RPG you expect to be able to sit on it.