{"id":1586,"date":"2006-12-27T17:36:19","date_gmt":"2006-12-28T00:36:19","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2006-12-27T19:18:17","modified_gmt":"2006-12-28T02:18:17","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/node\/1586\/","title":{"rendered":"Victim of a blog chain"},"content":{"rendered":"

Oh well<\/a>.. Why me?<\/p>\n

I guess the answer is a simple one as the blogosphere doesn’t look big enough to resist even three of these loops. But the problem here is that I suck at being funny or have amusing things to say. Don’t make me look even more ashamed than how I am. I suck.<\/p>\n

Anyway. Let’s see if I can think of something.<\/p>\n

1- Uhm… I never read “Lord of the Rings” *ducks!* No, really. I actually love the book, but never read it. It’s about the way my brain works and something I’m victim of that I was never been able to fully explain or justify: if I like something too much, I keep it “secret” to myself. Like waiting for the perfect moment that never arrives. I actually bought the book when I was ten or eleven. I was on vacation for the summer with my parents on the Alps, as every year (both summer -trekking- and winter -skiing-). <\/p>\n

It was a rainy day so we went shopping instead of trekking and I discovered this huge book on a book stand. It was everything I could desire as I was already an avid reader and still looking for something as fascinating as Michael Ende’s “Neverending Story” (my favorite book at that time and true personal myth). I couldn’t buy the book but when I was back at home I convinced my parents to let me go back to the shop (that was in another town) even if it was already late and getting dark. I remember that I ran a lot and it even began to rain again. I was able to find the shop open and buy the book. While I was running back home I remember I was keeping the book below my sweater so that it wouldn’t get wet. And it felt like a magic moment. I was feeling like I was holding the most precious thing ever. That evening I carefully set the book on a table and started reading… from the appendixes.<\/p>\n

That’s where I discovered that the book was only one part of an universe. The “world” was for me more fascinating than the story and the single characters. And I decided that before reading it I had to track all the other books and then read them in order. I didn’t want to miss anything and I started a research that went on for a long time. Today I still haven’t read the book from the beginning to end.<\/p>\n

The truth is that when I love something too much, I wait “for it” forever. I don’t want to read ten pages, because it means that I have ten less pages to read. Like if they are lost and without the possibility to go back. So I keep hoarding “precious stuff” to me but that I cannot really use because I don’t want to lose it. It’s stupid, of course, completely illogic, unjustified, but it’s something I cannot really control. And it still happens today with other books, games, comics. I leave the best stuff last, and it often means that I never see that best stuff. I’m always waiting for the “perfect” moment while actually wasting it all.<\/p>\n

So I never read LotR because I loved it too much and I could read it only when that loved faded, so that it became actually a “mortal” possibility. There are things I simply love too much to use them. If I don’t use them they remain in the realm of perfection and I can venerate them properly. I venerated LotR for a long time, like an idol. But I didn’t read it.<\/p>\n

2- I’m a bit hypochondriac. Not the kind that invents problems. But the kind that gets worried and anxious about just everything. I transform little problems into big dramas, but not because I like dramas, just because I get really worried. The kind of: OMG! THE END! <\/p>\n

Of course that kind of reaction doesn’t really help.<\/p>\n

3- I don’t know how it translates to the USA school system, but something like college graduation. We have to go through some tests and a final exam. The most important of these tests is about a writing essay. Well, I went school drunk and after having slept two hours. I started to write and chased the flow. I never had problems writing, but that was a moment of my life that I was particularly inspired. I got the max possible in that test but the final exam didn’t end exactly well as the president of the commission finished to yell at me and generate another drama scene.<\/p>\n

But I was above all that. It was the best period of my life. I was… free. I was inspired. I had the right answers for EVERYTHING. I had learnt to see things from the other perspective, break the rules, find my way. Reclaim an identity, thoughts and all that. I could do just everything, I had all the power of this world. I had everything in my hands and I wish I could go back. Because today I feel lost, powerless and have no answers.<\/p>\n

4- I scared a teacher when I was in college because I used to play with the “Necronomicon” and other, more serious, magic books. Writing symbols on stones, amulets and all that. I didn’t do that seriously but I really had lot of absurd books that I was able to track. For me it was something to play not more serious than reading horoscopes on a magazine, but I like digging stuff, finding old books, follow references, authors and whatnot. I also played a lot with yoga and all sort of other fancy things. But I’m also a very rational person so I never believed in anything.<\/p>\n

5- I.. Doh! Never kissed a woman! OMG! But proud of it! I actually started to have interest in girls extremely early. I was around girls when most boys only cared about trucks and monsters. Every moment of my life is accompanied by a woman, just without her being aware, or without being really involved. I’m a case limit.<\/p>\n

Ok, now who’s left? Foton<\/a>, J.<\/a> (who I doubt will ever know about this), Darniaq<\/a> (who stopped writing there and I’m going to join him very soon), Krones<\/a> (who was briefly resurrected) and, just for the sake of it, Anyuzer<\/a>, because I miss him.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Oh well.. Why me? I guess the answer is a simple one as the blogosphere doesn’t look big enough to resist even three of these loops. But the problem here is that I suck at being funny or have amusing things to say. Don’t make me look even more ashamed than how I am. I […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-1586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1586\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}