{"id":1510,"date":"2006-09-18T16:42:21","date_gmt":"2006-09-18T23:42:21","guid":{"rendered":""},"modified":"2006-11-19T23:12:45","modified_gmt":"2006-11-20T06:12:45","slug":"","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/node\/1510\/","title":{"rendered":"Post Scriptum"},"content":{"rendered":"

I didn’t reply to the (kind) words Raph wrote or the (kind) forum thread on Q23 because I decided to not read anything for a few days. If you see me writing now it’s not because I changed my decision but only because I want to make some precisations as everyone that commented was wondering what I was trying to achieve with this site or the real reason why I decided to stop.<\/p>\n

So I’ll try to explain as clearly and succinctly as I can:<\/p>\n

The purpose of this site<\/b>: The purpose of this site was to be a “surrogate”. A ladder to watch the stars. I didn’t expect to get a job in the game industry by writing here (come ooon). I was writing here because I KNEW I wouldn’t have an occasion to get a job in the game industry. Writing was a way to get as close as possible to what I liked and that was out of reach. Confrontate and all the rest.<\/p>\n

This site didn’t have a “goal” to reach. I didn’t “quit” because I didn’t get as many readers as I originally hoped or because I wasn’t influencing game design enough. Nor because I wanted to replicate what Lum did. I don’t pretend to be on the same league. This site was a playground and an archive. A memory. It was simply a bag where I put thoughts. As a bag, it was just a container and didn’t have another goal or purpose. Just that.<\/p>\n

The reason why I’m done<\/b>: the reason why I’m done isn’t because this site had a goal that I wasn’t able to reach, nor because I cannot pay the hosting fees. The reason is entirely external to the site and is about myself. Writing about mmorpgs completely absorbed me and I loved it. I wasn’t bored doing that, I wanted to do it MORE. Dedicating it more time without feeling bad.<\/p>\n

I simply reached a point where I wanted to justify what I’m doing. Is that odd? Justify that dedication. Find a sense so that I didn’t feel like wasting time. Find a legitimation. But I knew that I didn’t have an option, so I felt like being pulled into two opposite directions, and I broke there.<\/p>\n

I’m broken.<\/p>\n

So. Thanks everyone for the comments.<\/p>\n

There’s a (now old) thread on Q23<\/a> where I wrote some more. The thread is also interesting for the discussion beside my specific case.<\/p>\n

I think that within five years, Abalieno will be able to make his dream come true. By himself, mostly.<\/i><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

That’s not a dream, it’s a nightmare<\/a>. My dream is to work with other people where I’m just one of many and make games for other people. Not doing a game on my own and where I’m going to be the only player.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn’t reply to the (kind) words Raph wrote or the (kind) forum thread on Q23 because I decided to not read anything for a few days. If you see me writing now it’s not because I changed my decision but only because I want to make some precisations as everyone that commented was wondering […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[5],"class_list":["post-1510","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1510","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1510"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1510\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1510"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1510"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/cesspit.net\/drupal\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1510"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}