A short Haemish compilation (on a single thread)

From a sign:
When speaking of the MMOG industry, the glass may be half full, but it’s full of urine. -HaemishM

About MEO:

Because if we have nice things, we have to shit all over them. I expect a bazillion Lagolasses that I cannot PK.

Essentially, this is a worse license than Star Wars, except that with Star Wars, you have Lucas to shit all over good game design ideas. But in this one, all the good shit in the stories, players shouldn’t be allowed to have.

The idea of Tolkien’s worlds being turned into WoW 1.1 makes my fucking stomach turn. Not that it couldn’t be fun, or anything, but really.

What end game is there going to be? Dragon raids? In the time between Hobbit and LotR, there is exactly 1 dragon mentioned, unless you count the Nazgul mounts. Not to say that there aren’t other dragons, but where are they? Both the Fellowship and Bilbo’s party of dwarves traveled a great distance across the width and breadth of Middle-Earth, and nothing was ever mentioned.

Planes raids? No extra-planar entities in Middle-Earth, though you could make a case that the Grey Havens was in another plane. Battlegrounds sounds fun, but again, unless you are allowed to play the evil races, or swear an oath of allengiance such as the Haradrim (?) did to Sauraman, what’s the point? There’s plenty of factions to play, but the things we think of for typical, traditional, WoW-esque MMOG’s are totally fucked if you put them in the Tolkien story.

In short, this is the worst license since Star Wars for making a traditional MMOG.

Foozle #1:
Bah you have EQs/WoW for that, why make more of the same?

Ask the pigfuckers who keep churning that shit out, as well as the pigfuckers who invest the money to make another cash mill as subscription service. Why make more of the same? Because businesses like to make money.

Foozle #1:
Very few people get to go on raids, most players never get to ‘raid’ content until it trivialized by many consequent expansions. Build your game around things that average players can participate in – rich and non-liner character building with strong diminishing returns, complex and all encompassing crafting system that works on gathering rather than drop resource system and meaningful PvP revolving around controlling desirable but optional elements of the game.

Now you know good and goddamn well that these things don’t get built around the average player and if any of the things you are talking about get put in there, I’ll be very surprised.

Foozle #1:
Why do we need ‘magic’ with flashy spells in all games?

How else do you justify the particle effects engine for all those cool sparklies!?! And how else could you claim to allow the player to “adventure in a world of magic and mystery!”?!?!?!

Your nostalgia will be ground into a fine powder, spiced with the salt from Tolkien’s tears, and consumed wholesale by The Bottom Line. The resulting fecal material will be pressed into pancakes, dried over the burning rage of literary men, boxed and sold as the Collector’s Edition for $69.99 with a $15.99 monthly fee.


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